I have known Dwayne for 14 or 15 years. Over time, his hair has gotten a little grayer (not as gray as mine), and he annually goes from crew cut to Mohawk to cue ball. Recently, he’s grown his perpetual goatee (technically, a Van Dyke) into a full beard.
This morning, he shaved it all off.
I told him from the start that when he shaved off his beard, he would look years younger.
When he shaved off his goat, too, I suddenly became a cougar, preying on a man a generation younger than me. Before an hour ago, I had never seen him without his goatee.
Sorry, Taylor Swift, you can’t have him. He’s still mine.