Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Either Wesley or Oxi-Clean Failed Me

I got the kids down tonight, after a whirlwind of Dwayne coming home late and leaving again to go back to work (it’s an unusual week for him), when I went downstairs to assess the damage of having 5 extra kids playing at our house this afternoon. 

This is what I found. (Well, almost.  This is after drenching it in Oxy-Clean; it has faded a bit).  Blue Sharpie scribbled all over the beige carpet.  That would be the same blue pen I had removed from Wesley’s hands earlier that day with a strong reminder that they belong to Mama and my children are not allowed to use them.


Wesley strikes again.

So far, I’ve spent time scolding Wesley and checking out youtube videos on permanent marker removal.  One actually said to use a dry erase marker—which actually works great to get Sharpie off white boards.  But do you know what’s harder to get out of fabric than Sharpie?  That’s correct.  Dry erase markers are much harder to dissolve, a lesson Kyla taught me years ago.

Using rubbing alcohol, hairspray, elbow grease, and a shampooer, I got it down to this:


It stands out more than you might think, because these 3 square feet of carpet are cleaner than the rest, a perfect canvas for Wesley’s failed attempt at art.

But before I had gotten this far, Wesley came to me and, quite repentfully, apologized to me for writing on the carpet.  Damn it, I taught him that.  And damn it twice, I had to forgive him before I could get the stain out.  I’m sure Glennon Doyle Melton could make a humorous and touching sermon on…something…but all I know is that instead of a peaceful evening getting ready for Book Fair next week, I scrubbed alcohol into and then out of my carpet until 11pm.  I did this sober.

While our rule of “Don’t make more work for Mama” is clearly only half-hearted at best, we have a new motto in our house.  You will often hear Wesley forced to chant “Not all things are toys. Not all things are toys” while I chant “You must not kill your child.  You must not kill your child.” 

It’s quite…melodic. 

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