Unlike Dwayne’s, my swearing days are scheduled more frequently than once a year.
Like, when Wesley takes the scarf I am knitting for him off the needles. Three times. I thought his bottom wouldn’t handle a third time but he was up for the challenge. He also cut the yarn. The final time, I ripped up his scarf myself as I am. Done. With. Him.
Or when Kyla puts her tea in the refrigerator at a precarious tilt and it spills all over the shelves when I get the milk out.
Or when the sturdy wood towel rack in the downstairs bathroom is found on the ground with large holes left in the wall and Wesley and Piper blame each other.
Don’t forget when Wesley locked a kitten in the cat carrier again after several warnings, threats, and corrections forr doing this several times previously. Again, I must move this item out of his reach instead of relying on his obedience to a very clear rule. I. Am. So. Done. With. Wesley. And I am running out of spaces in the house that he truly cannot reach.
Or when Piper takes 2 days to clean her room, and still doesn’t finish it and then whines and promises to do better with one more chance when I take away her CD player, to be returned when she really, truly has cleaned her bedroom.
Or, after stating several times that there would not be powdered sugar for their French toast, still hearing in a super-whiney voice, “but I want powered sugar”.
Or every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday at 12:20 I say, “Put on your shoes and coats and get in the car—we’re going to preschool!” and Piper and Wesley still don’t put on their shoes, coats, or get in the car. F0ur months, my friends.
And every single one of these things happened just today.
And by “periods”, they mean “children”.
[Mom, dementors are the ghost-like magical creatures that literally suck the joy and happiness out of a person until s/he is either comatose or dead. You’d know this if you’d read past the first chapter of Harry Potter. Seriously, what do you do with your time? Just stand in your kitchen doing the happy-dance to celebrate not having young children anymore? Because someday, I want to join you. And I am sincerely sorry for every annoying or destructive thing I did from the time I was 18 months to 18 years.]