I should have known it was coming, because Wesley has been amazingly pleasant, cheerful, cooperative, and helpful for 24 hours.
So when Dwayne, on his first sick day in almost four years (hint: vasectomy after Wesley was born), picked Wesley and Piper up from afternoon preschool, I should not have found this so shocking. [I certainly shouldn’t have found it funny.]
Me: What happened in preschool today, Wesley?
Me: You were sad? What happened?
Wes: A boy looked at my work.
Me: A boy looked at your work? Then what happened?
Wes: A boy looked at my work and he said I did it wrong.
Me: And then what?
Dwayne: [coming up the stairs] He stabbed him.
[Awkward pause while I vacillate between laughing and wondering what the punch line will be.]
Dwayne: And then Wesley punched him.
[Deciding on laughter, because even Wesley wouldn’t stab a kid and then punch him. Right?]
Then I realized that Dwayne wasn’t kidding. A kid had looked at his work, told him he was doing it wrong, so Wesley took the paper “poker” and stabbed this kid’s hand. And then hit him. I actually can’t quite picture it without doing a weird Ally McBeal thing where I superimpose Wesley’s head on Nikita doing jujitsu. Then Wesley made it worse for himself by not apologizing. He spent a really, really long time in time out.
I believe that of the last four years of preschool, this may have been the first time I’ve not been there for pick up. This was the perfect day to miss. Thanks, Fates!
PS “Calvin” was on my short list to name Baby Omega.