End of the Year Review

I reviewed  my posts of 2011 and chose the bits that made me laugh.

 

1. And besides, I love doing these sort of projects. Unlike parenting, it was fast, uncomplicated, and I did a pretty good job.
2. Best laid plans of mice and moms…and all that.
3. I swear my kids have to start off brilliant because the best we can hope for is that by the time they are school age, they will be down to normal intelligence.
4. We don’t raise no cowards here at the ranch. Not much in way of manners, either, but no fear.
5. If I ever get a Facebook Page, which will happen about the same time I stop self-medicating with dark chocolate, my status will continually read:

Cleaning the Kitchen

1. But then they stopped cold turkey, like “clean up” was a drug they needed to purge
2. So it was about 3 o’clock or so, after giving up on Wesley’s fifth naptime attempt that I screamed—within 10 feet of all three children, not behind closed doors—“This day SUCKS!!!” This is not a word I want to input into their vocabularies, but occasionally I like to share feelings with my children. It helps them remember I am not just a robot slave programmed for their convenience.
3. St. Dwayne eventually came home with Valentine’s gifts for us all and the day finally ended, as all days are wont to do if you give them enough time. 24 hours, to be exact.
4. One of the (ahem, few) advantages of young children is that they don’t follow the calendar
5. “Fixing” looks similar to “breaking” in the Need household….
6. Wesley and Stephen are learning that sand is not just for eating. They are considering the ramifications of such an idea.
7. He got his pants soaked through the first minute he was near the water. My brothers might uncharitably, but truthfully, mutter under their breaths “just like his mother.”
8. (Did the fearless gene completely override the intelligence gene? Yes. Yes, it did.)
9. If I can take a moment to say that, currently, Piper’s endearing habits are much fewer than her infuriating ones. That’s neither here nor there for you, the reader, but it’s making a big difference in the pleasantness of my days.
10. Once he has had his lunch, Daddisaurus needs dessert, preferably a plant-eater.
11. But November isn’t all about waiting for plants to die.
12. Let it not be said that our home is quiet, or that our children are smart enough to do 3-man wrestling on a carpeted surface. Because neither would be true.