For Sale: One Two-Year Old. Cheap.

Of course, you may not want him no matter how good the price once you hear why he is for sale.

1.  It took 1.5 hours and three time-outs to get him to clean up a box of counting bears he enjoyed dumping out.

2.  I had to do double-time in the kitchen after he made a different mess this morning.  While I was busy there, Wesley was downstairs getting out four boxes of soy milk.  He was able to open three of them.  He poured out all three onto two plush runner carpets I have downstairs.  Fortunately, plush really absorbs, so I didn’t have to shampoo the carpet underneath too much to get the milk out of it.  I did take the two runners outside and pressure washed them later that afternoon.

3.  Really?  A what point did Wesley say to himself, “Mama will really like it if I pour out a large amount of liquid inside the house!  She always lets me do this sort of thing.” 

4. Yesterday, since he wasn’t bothering to nap, he wanted to go outside to ride his bike.  I needed to mow the lawn, so he was following me on his bike. And then he wasn’t. I went around to the sides of the house, calling his name.  Went to the front.  Went down the driveway.  Down the street (because the little bugger is FAST on his bike), yelling his name.  Returned to house.  Saw bike in garage.  Went inside, yelling demon’s name.  Went up stairs yelling his name.  That boy didn’t answer.  Not because he didn’t hear me, but he wanted to get as much candy as he could before I grabbed him.  He had climbed on the counter, taken down the plastic water pitchers, stepped on them to give himself the extra boost to reach the candy basket that, until yesterday, was out of his reach on top on the refrigerator.  And he had taken off his pants. 

*     *     *     *     *     *

Kyla pulled a stunt today, too.  She filled up the bathroom sink and scrubbed her feet with Piper’s toothbrush.  “Kyla, would it be okay for Piper to wash her feet with your toothbrush?”

“No.”

“Is it okay for you to use her toothbrush to wash yourself?”

“No.”

“Did you think about this when you washed your feet?”

“No,” said the girl who have given herself a black eye yesterday doing something rather unintelligent and banging her head into the corner of a wall.