Dear friends,
I’ve written bits and pieces of this letter in my head over the past month. Now that I am sitting down to write this, I don’t remember any of it. I just look forward to finishing this letter so I can find out what happened in our lives this past year.
I’m still oddly surprised that we’re a full decade into the 21st century. The good news is that our kids are miraculously aging far more quickly than Dwayne and I. Kyla is four now, but we’ve stayed about the same age as when we had her.
Yep, Kyla is a full-fledged four year old who still can’t find anything she’s afraid of, except perhaps of wearing too many clothes. She likes gymnastics (the jumping, tumbling, and climbing parts—not the listening parts), wearing her clothes backwards, pretending to be a bird, and composing completely tuneless songs. We have to admit that in spite of our best efforts, she’s basically a well-adjusted child who is happy being a Kyla.
It’s a temptation to compare Kyla and Piper, but they’re not really identical or opposites. They’re just plain different. Though they are both very good at completely exasperating me.
Piper is 2 ½ now, and I can’t quite separate out what is being 2 and what is simply Piper. She is the most heart-meltingly sweet, thoughtful, giving soul right before she turns into a determined Neanderthal. Our issue with Piper is that, if there is a consequence that she responds to, Dwayne and I haven’t found it. (Jelly beans could be the one exception.) I once heard a great sermon about Apostle Paul’s effectiveness—there was nothing that could be done to Paul that would scare the Jesus out of him. Jail him? He’d preach there. Let him go? He’d preach more. Beat him? He’d use it as an object lesson. Kill him? Great, he could finally go to heaven. Paul was unpunishable. Piper has different goals than Paul, but is completely unpunishable in her own way. She will be a force to reckon with when she is older.
The biggest news of 2010 is that Dwayne got a promotion/raise and I got a housekeeper. Okay, actually the biggest news is that we had our third child this year. Wesley Scott Need was born January 18th. But his birth eventually necessitated help keeping up the house. It was 3 against 1 (Dwayne is neutral) in the fight to keep the house clean. I surrendered last September. It’s now 3 against 2 and the shower scum is cowering.
But even more than cleanliness, I love my baby boy. He shows all the signs of being as timid and sour-tempered as his sisters and father), which is to say, not at all. When not sucking his two fingers, Wesley spends his day making sure gravity continues to work and that anything on tables or shelves is safely thrown on the ground.
Wesley came on MLK Jr. Day after almost 2 hours of labor. I don’t do pregnancy very well, but I think I could win an Olympic Delivery event. Less than 13 hours of labor total for 3 kids, no drugs (no time), and I don’t believe I ever cursed Dwayne. That’s got to get me a silver medal at least! It’s too bad my best event is the shortest, because I’m probably not going to win any lifetime parenting awards. As the child-rearer in a Christian household, I feel our important rules should incorporate the Ten Commandments or Paul’s admonitions or at least a proverb or two. Instead the only real rule I have is “Don’t make more work for Mama”.
For me, this means forgoing Facebook, Twitter, potty-training, snaps and laces (instead of zippers and Velcro), crossword puzzles, and meals that take more than 15 minutes preparation. For the kids, it means refraining from asking me to do something they can do themselves, not doing permanent damage to inanimate objects, and preventing illness to the best of their ability. The rule is broken numerous times daily, by me and my beloveds, but I think overall, it leads to a more sane mother. There are so few contributions to my personal sanity that I take what I can get.
Outside of a few camping trips (each which completely shattered the One Rule in our house), we didn’t do many family trips this year. Exotic vacations weren’t even on the wish list. But Dwayne and I did get to continue our hunt for a church this year. Just last month we finally committed to a great church just a few minutes from our house. It’s an Alliance church, which meant nothing to me until recently, but it quickly has felt like “our” church and a place where we can raise our family as well as grow and serve ourselves.
A few other bits of news, in no particular order. My brother, Keith, and his wife, Julie, had baby boy Parker in August. I love that Wesley and Parker, just 7 months apart, will grow up together. It makes it easier that Wesley is our last baby to have a sweet nephew close by.
Our one remaining cat is in permanent exile after a peeing spree in Piper’s bed. We’re at a bit of impasse, as I’m furious at Smokey for breaking the Rule, and she’s furious with me for throwing her out in the garage. She’s so mad that the one time she was able to get into the house, she went upstairs and peed in Piper’s bed. I almost rubbed her down in raw meat and whistled for the raccoons. We’ve “compromised”. She stays in the garage and pretends that she may have a premature death and I make sure she has food, water, and a warm box to sleep in.
And then there’s the kitchen floor. I hated my kitchen floor—completely stripped wood that would take any food particle and hold onto it for dear life. Drop a blueberry? See it for months. Grape juice? Hope you like purple! So my parents took the girls for a few days and I sanded, stained, and varnished, and now I have a lovely kitchen floor that actively repels stains. That floor is obeying the Rule so well that we practically have a relationship that borders on romantic.
Dwayne and I also have a relationship that borders on romantic. Romance these days is cleaning the kitchen together, playing footsie while we each work (or blog) in the evenings, and laughing as I try not to wet myself while jumping on the trampoline (thank, kids!). Phew, at least there’s no shred of dignity left to embarrass me.
And lastly, here are the two cartoons that are on our fridge.
And this is about as true as life is. I don’t feel like I have a lot of spare time, but somehow I have stronger, deeper friendships now in my life than I’ve ever had. Thank you for being part of our lives where the line between friend and family is blurred, as are my eyes as I think about how much you mean in our lives.
How’s that for sappy endings?
Love,
Denise, Dwayne, Kyla, Piper, and introducing Wesley
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