Why do we even have that cat?!?

[A Love Letter to my husband]

Dear Dwayne,

It is increasingly clear to me why you are the breadwinner in this family.  It’s not just because you make 3 times what I used to make as a teacher or you are really enjoy your job.  No.  We both know it’s so you can leave the house for a long stretch everyday and not deal with the dead rodent the cat brought in and tore to pieces underneath the slide today.   You go to work so that you don’t have to hear Kyla come up the stairs and tell you matter-of-factly that there’s “something dead” downstairs again while you are settling a crying infant.  You bring home enormous bonuses and benefits so that you don’t have to clean up the intestines of---was that a chipmunk??—that are stuck to the beige carpet.  Do you know what happens when the intestines stick to the carpet?  Well, let’s just say it gets very messy and the pet soiling cleaner must be brought out.  And so must the vacuum to clean up all the hair tufts strewn around the basement. 

Of course you miss me muttering about our bad cat and Kyla saying, “That’s right.  Bad cat.  We should call him Bad Cat.  That’s his new name.  Bad Cat.”  She’s a sympathetic listener, that one.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I understand and that I love you.  At least as much as you love me.

Your wife,

Denise